Confirmed sighting: Galaxy Bubbles/ Snickers More Nuts
Posted: 20:35 Sun 07-Feb-2010. Price: 49p-55p. Location: Northampton University Park Campus Shop; Costcutter, Northolt.
"Like an aero, but not!" says "Heather", and "The texture does not seem bubbly so the experience is like having less dense Galaxy (condensed milkish) chocolate," adds "Gourmet". But the picture comes courtesy of Jim Chocolatemission who, when not breaking the news that Kshocolat has gone into administration and that Thorntons are producing I Love Mum chocolate truffle cups, slams this new Galaxy for having "effeminate pink touches on the wrapper" and its lack of a "long lasting, smooth thick melt" - I haven't seen him this angry since the Cadbury Twisted debacle of a couple of years or so ago.
...Regarding more manly mouthfuls, "Nick T" meanwhile paid 42p for a Snickers More Nuts, sighing: "So there's this film yeah? called Snakes On a Plane right, and it's about some well wicked snakes, and they're on this plane right... wot? no I dunno where it's going. Prob'ly somewhere kickin' like Ayia Napa or Eurodisney yeah? Anyway, right, these..."
Sorry, where was I? Ahem. Now that our dear, dear friends at Kraft are circling the twitching corpse of British mass-market confectionery, what better opportunity is there to revisit the competition. And with prescient timing we have Snickers More Nuts, which is a Snickers but with More Nuts. And if, like me, you stopped taking notice of the modern world in about 1978, a Snickers is like a Marathon but with more sugar and having been given the Wagon Wheel looking-through-a-telescope-the-wrong-way treatment.
Oh it's no good. Look folks, it's the usual lab-factory brown stuff: more fat per 100g than a pork pie, and tooth-bendingly sweet. More nuts means it has a stronger roasted flavour, but before we all get carried away it only has more peanuts because the price of cocoa and sugar has gone through the roof but the price of peanuts hasn't. So these 'specials' are launched at a marginally lower price point than their peers specifically for C2/D mugs like me. Sales get a short term lift and Mars' profit line doesn't suffer. Marketing works like that. And if that doesn't get your hand in your pocket, we'll make another advert with those unconvincing breakdancing bloody babies. If you like sugar and you like nuts, buy one of these and knock yourself out yeah?
Confirmed sighting: Werther's Original Chocolate
Posted: 10:41 Sun 24-Jan-2010. Price: £1.00. Location: Asda, Hamilton, Scotland. Sub-flavours: Dark or milk chocolate, or milk chocolate filled with caramel.
Zeddy reports: I heard about these a few months ago but it was the first time that I actually saw them. They were stuck on an aisle end with an introductory price of £1.
3 Varieties: milk or dark chocolate "marbled with the comforting taste of Werther's", or milk chocolate filled with soft caramel. I bought 2 varieties. The dark ones and the caramel. The caramel ones are nice and very like Galaxy caramel. Nothing new but nice.
The other ones were quite rich and I suppose I could taste the "taste of Werther's". As I am not a fan of the normal hard boiled sweets, I can't say I found the taste too "comforting". The original version reminds me of piss-soaked old geriatrics reminiscing about days of yore when everything was cheaper and society had structure and decent values. Still, the chocolate varieties were nice.
...Thanks for that evocative detail there, Z - though, as someone wrote in The Grocer magazine at the time of those Original Butter Candies ads: "Placing myself at the same age as the grandfather figure, this would make him a young child in the early 1940s. Anyone who lived then would surely know that... anyone caught selling or buying German confectionery would not have been very popular". Elsewhere, Mars presumably doesn't want to end up like Cadbury, and are introducing Wispa-style Galaxy Bubbles (RSP 52p or £1.69/4), reducing saturated fat across their range, and have already launched More Nuts Limited Edition Snickers which, as Foodstuff Finds and Jim's Chocolate Mission have diligently discovered, is Snickers with 10% more peanuts in.
Semi-international sighting: Cheetos Spirals Cheese and Ketchup/ Crisp Review of The Decade
Posted: 10:57 Sun 17-Jan-2010. Price: £1.01. Location: Tesco Metro near Liverpool One. Nutritional unusualness: 6.8g of fat per 25g.
"Nachos with salsa and cheese available in my local Subway (Ravensthorpe, Dewsbury), apparently a 'trial' product, they are only available in Yorkshire I was told," confides "Dave", but it was "Adam Cox" who captured the Cheetos, reporting: "I found them on the Polish food section in the Tesco Metro in Liverpool near the Liverpool One. It says 90g but at the same time is also quite a big bag though the spirals are quite big and there is more of a cheesier taste which I think overpowers the tomato though they still taste good!"
...And if you're wondering what stood out for me in the previous decade: 2006's sale and partial break-up of Golden Wonder left no substantial opposition to Walkers' growing UK dominance, with a series of launches ranging from 2002's Sensations to last year's Do Us A Flavour and Red Sky ranges, and taking in various purchased-from-Golden-Wonder Wotsits along the way. And, after dabbling with mutations that threatened to taste of Vanilla Ice Cream or Turn Your Tongue Blue, Walkers finally went back to basics with 2008's Old Mega Monster Munch. But even an endlessly Lineker-endorsed superbrand doesn't get everything its own way, as 2003's optimised-for-one-handed-consumption Walkers Shots (see also Hula Hoops Shoks) and 2004's would-be Pringles-rivals Walkers Stax failed to capture crisp-eaters' imaginations, while 2005's Nobby's Crisps even went through a 2006 biltong incarnation, of which now only the nut-based forms survive.
Speaking of Pringles, they managed more re-inventions than you might remember, including Pringles Dippers (2004), Mini Pringles (2005), Pringles Gourmet and Light Aromas (both 2006), Rice Infusions (2007), Pringles Select (2008) and, most recently, Pringles Xtreme. Which hints at the other big story of the decade (well, other than the triumphant return of Seabrook's): "healthier", low-fat snacks. Golden Lights
and Golden Skins weren't enough to save Golden Wonder, but 2006's Walkers Baked and
2007's SunBites seem to
have outlived their other
Walkers Lites! and Cheese Heads/ Potato Heads experiments. Even Kettle Chips and The Tyrrell Corporation got in on the act with 2006's Kettle Crispy Bakes/ Lentil and Potato Curls and 2005's Apple Chips, respectively - but surprisingly the current ones-to-watch seem to be Tayto's Velvet Crunch (based on 2007's Oven Baked Whisps?), and now-less-overtly-associated-with-Quaker-Oats Snack A Jacks, which have been on our shelves since April 2000. (Probably not literally the same bags, though given their taste and consistency - how could you tell?)
Confirmed sighting: Cadbury Dairy Milk Caramel Bunnies
Posted: 14:41 Sun 10-Jan-2010. Price: 59p. Location: Sainsbury's, Wimbledon. Nutritional unusualness: 100 calories "Per Bunny".
"robertster" reports: A friend of mine saw Creme Eggs in a shop during the festive void between Christmas and New Year. What is the world coming to?
Anyway, with the release of the Malteaster chocolate rabbit last year, it's no surprise to see Cadbury coming up with their own edible bunny. The caramel-filled chocolates are exactly as you'd expect them to be, but the surprising boon of getting two in a packet makes them a good deal better value than Mars' effort.
However, while they're nicely moulded chocs (featuring the caramel bunny herself), the experience is not hugely different from that offered by eating a piece of normal Cadbury's Caramel, so they lack the pleasing novelty of the Caramel Egg. Having said that, if they remain at this price I'd certainly buy again.
..."robertster" returns with the latest lapine competitor to the Easter Kit Kat - featuring the Caramel Bunny (is Caramel her actual name?) looking a bit less furry than last year's poster ads. In slightly less confusing confectionery:
Werther's are rolling out a bagged chocolates range (in milk, dark or soft caramel-centred, RSP £1.99 for 125g) presumably based on their test line of about 2 years ago; and Kellogg's aims to "smash" the "brown, boring and dull" image of high-fibre foods with a Fibre Plus cereal bar (in milk or dark chocolate and almond, RSP £1.79) - anything to stave off the £9.99 Rigid Heart that Thorntons are thoughtfully promoting for Valentine's Day.
Review of the Decade: Sweets, Biscuits and Cakes
Posted: 22:00 Sun 03-Jan-2010.
Snackspot
reports:
I'd been hoping to restrict this to major launches rather than just "limited editions" - though not getting off to a good start, given Cadbury's decade will probably be best remembered for them getting rid of the Wispa in 2003, then
claiming the public wanted it revived 4 years later. There isn't quite the same demand to
bring back the Champagne Crunchie with which Cadbury ushered in the millennium, nor its Tango or Lemonade Crunchie offspring, though I think you might still be able to buy Crunchie Nuggets and 2006's Crunchie Blast ice cream. Less dramatically, another of their brands survived
August 2000's Anthea Turner Snowflake endorsement to give us 2003's Flake Dipped, 2004's Flake Praline and Flake Moments, plus 2006's
Flake Dark - and Cadbury did manage to refine 2006's Dairy Milk Creme Egg Bar into the Creme Egg Twisted we enjoy today. In the "don't know if you can still get them/don't care" category, there are 2004's Cadbury Snaps Milk Chocolate Curves and, while I enjoyed many of the madder flavours of Trident gum, it's coincided with a decline for gum brands blamed on a "congested fixture and over-premiumisation".
...
Just my personal impression, but there was a point in the mid-2000s when Nestle seemed happy to put out endless different flavours of Kit Kat, from Low Carb to White Lemon and Yoghurt, with only 2006's Peanut Butter Chunky (and perhaps 2008's Senses) showing any real longevity. Nonetheless, they did some good work extending other lines like
Smarties,
After Eight, Toffee Crisp, or even
Quality Street and Rolos. But it wasn't all plain sailing - 2004's Double Chocolate disappeared without trace, and I'm not sure I even got to try 2005's tempting-sounding Pizazz.
Of course, Mars/Masterfoods' 2005 launch of Galaxy Promises didn't fare much better, while 2003's Bisc/Twix Top misfire made them refocus their lighter biscuit efforts on 2004's Mars Delight. They seem to have had more luck with 2007's Mars Planets and basically turning every brand they own into a drink (or several) - and it's conceivable that you might still be able to track down 2004's literally mouth-watering AquaDrops, though thankfully not jelly-foetus-containing
Harry Potter Dragon Eggs from 2003, probably the weirdest UK launch of this - or any other - decade.
Obviously this is going on a bit now, so just some quick mentions for less prolific manufacturers: I remain sadly unconvinced that McVitie's are ever going to do anything interesting with either Penguins or Jaffa Cakes; well done to Bendicks for sticking with their unappealing-sounding mint brand of Mingles for more than 7 years; while my surprise tip for a product (like Lyle's Golden Syrup, pictured) whose expansion seems almost limitless is... Terry's Chocolate Orange - the campaign to bring back their 2002 Easter Egg and Spoon starts here.
Confirmed sighting: Quaker Oats Paw Ridge/ Best (and Worst) of 2009
Posted: 22:18 Sun 27-Dec-2009. Price: £1.99/10 sachets (originally buy one get one free). Location: Morrisons, Camden. Sub-flavours: Original or Honey flavours. Nutritional unusualness: "Finely milled to create a smoother, creamier texture that appeals to children".
Snackspot
reports: More about Paw Ridge in a moment, but it's also the time of year to look back on the best new (not
merely relaunched) products of the last 12 months. My nominations are, by category: (Sweets, biscuits, cakes) Gu Naughties, Kellogg's Totally Chocolatey Rice Krispies Squares. (Crisps and snacks)
Seabrook Hot and Spicy, Pringles Xtreme. (Cereals, pudding, icecream) Ambrosia Crumble Puds, Tickety-Moo Apple and Blackberry Pie. (Drinks and/or alcohol) Rockstar Punched/ Starbucks Dark Berry Mocha Frappuccino. (Fast and/or hot food) McDonald's Oriental Snack Wrap, Banger Bros - feel free to add yours in the comments!
...As for the Paw Ridge, I've been through about 20 sachets this year and didn't manage to microwave any of them to a convincingly porridge-y consistency. Nonetheless, it's been a bumper year for ridiculous product names, with PepsiCo also playing down their involvement in Planet Lunch and their "shepherd's delight - or warning?" Red Sky "me too" upmarket crisps range. It looks like Cadbury Clusters may also be sticking around a while, though it took me almost 6 months of watching prententious cinema ads for Wrigley's 5 before I worked out that they were referring to the 5 senses, 2005 Magnum-style. And obviously it's not a snack per se, but Surf deserve a special mention for their Twilight Sensations "fragranced laundry products" (in Jasmine and black gardenia, or Vanilla and black orchid) - as long as it doesn't lead to extra Nature's Pleasure at breakfast-time.
Semi-international sighting: Mountain Dew
Posted: 23:47 Sun 20-Dec-2009. Price: 89p per can. Location: Charing Cross tube station, London.
"Michele" reports: On my daily commute, I spotted a sign with a Mountain Dew can on it. Curious, I ventured towards the shop, and indeed, they have Mountain Dew! It's the made-in-Philippines version, with black cans, but it's Dew. The location is in Charing Cross tube station - or right next to it. Essentially, instead of going in through the main entrance on the Strand (next to the Boots and bus/taxi thing) cross the street and go down some stairs. The store to the right is called Paperchase and sells pens or something like that, I can't remember what the store on the left was.
The stairs lead down to the tube station, but as soon as you go down the stairs there are two stores - one selling gym equipment and one selling drinks and sandwiches (his sign says something like Chokalicious and ID Photographs).
The chap in the drinks and sandwiches store sells the Dew - he's quite friendly. He mentioned he wants to get Code Red as well in future. Oh yeah - and they're 89p a can, so cheaper than most online stores!
...Thanks "Michele" - this is a bit different to our usual sightings (the pic is actually of the cans you can get for £1.20-something from CyberCandy 5 mins away in Covent Garden), but worth a mention I thought because of a)
continued speculation about an official UK launch, and b) the entertainingly detailed directions. And, because I probably won't post another sighting before next weekend, here's wishing everyone a happy snacking Christmas (and come back next Sunday for a review of 2009, and maybe the entire decade). Cheers!
International sighting: Nestle Crunch Eclats de Caramel
Posted: 21:04 Sun 13-Dec-2009. Price: 2 Euros. Location: Supermarket in Athens, Greece.
Zeddy reports: Mrs Zeddy was on a business trip when she found this in a local shop. It tastes pretty darned good with a real caramel taste yet still with the crunchiness of a... Crunch.
Strange that Nestle have not considered bringing it to the UK. Well no actually, as Nestle couldn't give a rat's arse about their UK arm. Have you tried a Euro Crunch in comparison with the tat we get here? Appalling isn't it? Why don't they just cover rice crispsies in cooking chocolate and be done with it.
And don't get me started on Toffee Crisps!
I see Kit Kats are now FairTrade. Huh! Why not actually concentrate on the quality of the chocolate? I love the Extra Creamy Extra Crispy ones that bargain shops get from Euroland unlike the ones we have in the UK. That Nestle! A bunch of cheapskate Alpine goat-chasers. I bet you don't post my Nestle rant as you are like "that" with them. And even if you do, it's only because I said you wouldn't. So there. *draws breath*
Anyhoo, I thoroughly recommend the Caramel Crunch to the House.
...And who'd want to argue with that? It's not clear whether the 'Enjoy your Easter break!' Kit Kat already spotted by "Magnetic Ham Sandwich" is in addition to the one expected to be competing with Cadbury Caramel Bunnies (or even Barratt's Lovely Mini Eggs) next year. Back with more imminent celebrations, you can hear me trying Penguin Yule Logs and the revived from 2007 McDonald's Festive Pie from around 14:40 in
this podcast - though that was recorded before I found these Fabulous Bakin' Boys Choc Orange King Christmas Cupcakes (and the slightly less exciting Mint Choc flavour) at 99p/4 in - where else? - the 99p Store on Camden High Street, London.
Confirmed sighting: McCoy's Limited Edition Pub
Grub Roast Beef and Horseradish
Posted: 16:37 Sun 06-Dec-2009. Price: £1.00/ assorted 6 pack. Location: Morrisons, Peckham. Sub-flavours: Lamb and Mint, and "another I can't remember".
I think I've also glimpsed McCoy's Twisted on the shelves somewhere (in Salt and Malt Vinegar with Chilli, or Cheddar and Onion with Jalapeno), or it's possible that the "other" Pub Grub flavour might be from the winter 2006 incarnation. Anyway, "Tina Gray" reports: Six bags for a pound is amazing value... nice, thick 'n' crunchy. The roast beef and horseradish taste like roast beef and mustard. I need to find out whether the roast lamb and mint flavour are suitable for a vegan to eat? Anyone know... please?
...Sorry "Tina", I was going to suggest checking the ingredients, but then had a similar dilemma with Tyrrells' slightly odd-tasting Turkey and Chestnut Stuffing (£1.17/150g in Waitrose) and Honey Roast Ham and Cranberry varieties (though this did reveal that the honey roast ham and cranberry flavouring contained vegetarian whey powder, raspberry powder, liquorice powder and blueberry flakes).
Or, in other semi-Christmassy savouries, I don't know what Kettle Chips are trying to get at with their Roasted Tomato and Basil Seasonal Edition, or why Subway haven't gone for actual turkey in their back-from-last-year "Add cranberry sauce for a festive flourish" Chicken and Stuffing Sub, especially now even Tesco are jumping on the £1.99 microwaveable baguette bandwagon.
International sighting: M and Ms Orange
Posted: 20:16 Sun 29-Nov-2009. Price: AU$4. Location: Woolworths, Sydney, Australia. Nutritional unusualness: May be present - peanuts, treenuts, barley.
"charl" reports: If Smarties were to take on M and Ms in WWF Wrestling, Smarties would surely hold the final ball-twisting smackdown: Orange Smarties! M and Ms have come back with their riposte - the slightly predictable Orange M and Ms. However, don't let the following of trends put you off. They are delicious! Covered in only orange or white shells, they are standard-sized milk chocolate M and Ms with the zingy taste of orange. A winner that we should have in this country.
...Apparently, in Australia, they've also got "mixture bags containing crispy, milk and peanut M and Ms in one place", plus these Steve's Buttered Popcorn flavour Smith's Crisps (AU$1.50, Sydney airport, also available in Late Night Kebab, BBQ Coat of Arms, or Caesar Salad) - as "charl" explains: "Smith's appear to be the Australian version of Walkers and they were just announcing their Do Us A Flavour options when we arrived in Oz. The rest of our holiday was spent tracking down buttered popcorn flavoured crisps. They actually taste like buttered popcorn! Quite buttery, delicious and weird. I know you could just eat popcorn, but hey - it's flat food, and we all want to live in Microserfs."
And in other overseas observations, anthropomorphised crisp mascot "Mr Tayto" left it a bit late to tell me on Friday afternoon that: "I've got a busy weekend lined up and I'm sure that your lovely readers will be delighted to hear that I'm coming out to meet them and sign my autobiography, The Man Inside The Jacket, in Limerick and Cork. You can find me and my pal Father Jack signing books at Eason Bookstore on O'Connell Street, Limerick tomorrow (Saturday 27th November) at 3.30pm. I'll then be making my way across to Cork like a hot potato to meet some more of you lovely folks and sign books at Eason on Patrick Street, Cork at 2.30pm on Sunday 28th November. Thanks for your help, you're a potato's best pal!"
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