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Click pic to view comments Confirmed sighting: Batchelors Spag Bol flavour Super Noodles
Posted: 12:19 Tue 03-02-2004. Price: 29p (special offer, normally 49p). Location: Safeway, Bath. Nutritional unusualness: None noted.
"Stuart Campbell" reports: It's a measure of how far we've come in snack technology that Super Noodles were ever known as a convenience food. Compared to the amount of stuff you can bung in the microwave and eat straight out of the packet, these are a Gordon Ramsey-esque nightmare of faffing around and equipment-dirtying. First you have to boil a kettle, then pour the boiling water into a jug to measure out 300ml, then pour into the bowl you've got the noodles in, then microwave them for two minutes, take them out and stir them, another two minutes, another stir, ANOTHER two minutes, and then another three minutes while you wait for them to cool down enough to eat.

...(Please view comments for Stuart's full conclusions on this controversial matter.) While, in other meat-like mischief: Nissin Cup Noodles with Shrimp, Campbell's "Andy Warhol" Tinned Soups and Burger King fries are among Nutrition Action's 10 (US) Foods You Should Never Eat; and BoingBoing recently posted this link to an industrial supplier of "Power Cutting Tools For Meat And Poultry Processors", including the ever-popular Lung Gun, Spinal Cord Remover, Head Splitter, and (Semi-Automatic) Neck Breaker.


Posted: 12:33 Tue 03-02-2004 by "Stuart Campbell" # permalink comment
Comment: By the time you're done it's taken nearly 15 minutes, two utensils, two bits of crockery and constant surveillance to make a simple bowl of noodles. You could breed, raise, slaughter and roast an entire ox quicker.

Is it worth it? Well, they're decent enough noodles, and the new variety inescapably does taste like spag bol, but you could microwave a proper ready-meal spaghetti bolognese (I recommend the superb, mushroom-free, Waitrose ones) in half the time with a quarter of the effort and get something a lot nicer. Which, if you ask me, is a much smarter move.

Posted: 12:51 Tue 03-02-2004 by "andrew pack" # permalink comment
Comment: That sounds to me like it requires more effort than "Straight to Wok" with Amoy noodles - a possible experiment for someone like the Kaptain to undertake with stop-watches. I don't really see the sense in any 'ready-meal' that involves you having to wash up anything other than a plate afterwards.

I am still waiting for microwaveable pre-buttered and jammed toast.

I hadn't realised that they hadn't moved forward to microwaveable noodles by now. Is there anyone out there who has a memory of supposedly quick-food that involved seventies cutting-edge technology such as "Pressure Cookers" ?

Posted: 13:14 Tue 03-02-2004 by "charl" # permalink comment
Comment: but super noodles _can_ be eaten straight from the pack. and rather nice they are too. if you are going to eat them hydrated, then a little boiling water and left to soak is much better than all that faffing and gives them a slightly crispy texture.
Posted: 13:37 Tue 03-02-2004 by Snackspot # permalink comment
Comment: Do they say what they're pre-fried in? Is it palm oil?

(Here at Snackspot Towers, I cook *everything* in the microwave, even - heck, especially - products which specifically advise against it. Haven't quite got the hang of pasta, though...)

Posted: 14:17 Tue 03-02-2004 by "Stuart Campbell" # permalink comment
Comment: Having just tried it, I am unable to endorse charl's "eat Super Noodles raw" recommendation. However, having just bought one of those things that measures the percentage of your weight which is body fat, and found to my slight surprise that I'm well within the recommended healthy range for someone my age and height, I CAN recommend my forthcoming book, "The Campbell Diet - How To Live Healthily For 20 Years On Nothing But Crisps And Wine Gums".

In all good bookstores soon.

Posted: 15:58 Tue 03-02-2004 by "andrew pack" # permalink comment
Comment: Wine gums taste (though this may not be actually true) like they are full of vitamin C. The subsistence diet (the one American nutritionists worked out in the 60s as the cheapest way to survive on simple foodstuffs) is four peanut butter sandwiches, three glasses of cold milk and a vitamin pill. (of course your diet is 40% fat, but it keeps you alive for quite a long time)
Posted: 17:58 Tue 03-02-2004 by "Kaptain Korolev" # permalink comment
Comment: Charl, you are the Kaptain's Komarade in the Noodle. The Kaptain loves the super noodles raw and finds then to be a delicious snacking food. After the main feast the Kaptain then sprinkles the pouchlette of powerful flavour onto his tongue to bring on powerful visions.

In fact, the Kaptain likes many foods 'in the raw'. Once the Kaptain even ate a quantity of frozen oven chips for dinner, sucking them in his mouth until they warmed sufficiently to be bitten through. Hard eatings, but no preparation!

Posted: 18:36 Tue 03-02-2004 by Snackspot # permalink comment
Comment: I like eating frozen peas straight from the freezer - they're like delicious vegetable "Solero Shots"
Posted: 21:08 Tue 03-02-2004 by "charl" # permalink comment
Comment: snackspot, you clearly do not share my dentist. yummy cold things are but a distant memory for me now. *sobs* and kaptain, real admiralty snort their supernoodle flavourings...

hey i finally solved the paragraph thing. who would have thought it was just two consecutive 'enters'!

Posted: 12:03 Wed 04-02-2004 by "andrew pack" # permalink comment
Comment: Just for interest Kaptain, how long do you estimate you would have to boil oven chips in a pan of water for them to be cooked ?
Posted: 19:26 Wed 04-02-2004 by "Kaptain Korolev" # permalink comment
Comment: The Kaptain would recommend warming them slowly under the arms. This gives the cook a refreshing chill and seasons the fritty frites with natural urea and body salts.

Flavours, flavours. At the moment the Kaptain cannot enjoy the flavours, his olfractory nerve is malfunctioning after a sinus infection and he has no sense of smell. Food for the Kaptain at the moment is a bland experience, the taste buds are so crude, so very crude.

Posted: 16:44 Thu 05-02-2004 by "Nebbish" # permalink comment
Comment: Me and a mate used to snack on frozen prawns straight from his mam's freezer. I'm surprised we're still alive.

Stuart Cambell - I was once like you, then I turned 30 and inflated like that baddy in the James Bond film who gets shot with an expanding gas bullet.

Back on topic, I've never really understood super noodles - as much as 6 times as expensive as normal noodles you'd get in a Chinese supermarket, much more difficult to cook, and not as nice.

It's a triumph of marketing you poor deluded people! Bachelors are the Microsoft of the noodle world, Demae Ramen are teh lunix w00t! or something.

Posted: 17:14 Thu 05-02-2004 by Snackspot # permalink comment
Comment: "The Campbell Diet - How To Live Healthily For 20 Years On Nothing But Crisps And Wine Gums"

- didn't you have to have a load of (possibly unrelated?) teeth out though as well?

Nonetheless, the health-giving properties of wine-gums are often overlooked nowadays - after all, "What's the opposite of hot? The answer is LIME-JUICE!" http://www.cyber-heritage.co.uk/women/row34.jpg

Posted: 17:44 Thu 05-02-2004 by "Stuart Campbell" # permalink comment
Comment: Oh man. I want those lime sweets now. Lime gets such a bum deal, it's easily the nicest citrus fruit, but it's always getting kicked around. I'll never forgive those Mars scum for taking lime ones out of Starburst for that horrible blackcurrant. First up against the wall come the revolution.

I did lose a few teeth back in the early 90s, but that was less a result of sweet-eating and more a result of not going to the dentist for 12 years. I've still got *most* of my gnashers, though some are only semi-original...

Posted: 10:00 Sat 11-Sep-2004 by "Keiron" # permalink comment
Comment: I like super noodles Correctoion i love them If you get SFC flavour, spag Bol, spicy beef,beef or chicken is get 2 red pepperamis sliice them.After 2 minuites stir noodles then add 3/4 of sliced red pepperami. Then after another 2 minuite s stir till you cant see any pepperami then sprinkle the remaining red pepperami on top and microwave for the remaining 2 minuites its is exteremely good
Posted: 17:46 Thu 21-Oct-2004 by "Kristofer" # permalink comment
Comment: Dont know if anyone has mentioned this yet, but super noodles contain hydrogenated oil, which is toxic to EVERY cell in the human body.

There are calls to have hydrogenated oils banned from human consumption as tests have shown it to cause cancer (particulary lung cancer when the oils are released in steam when you inhale as you eat)

The same applies to many foods, so I would recomend avoiding all foods containing hydrogenated or partialy hydrogenated oil.

Posted: 21:45 Thu 21-Oct-2004 by Snackspot # permalink comment
Comment: no I don't think anyone has mentioned that aspect yet "Kristofer" - possibly because you've neglected to back up your amazing claims with any sort of evidence?

Hydrogenated (or partially hydrogenated) vegetable oils are believed to be very bad for you, but most people seem to think this is because they

"cause significant and serious lowering of HDL (good) cholesterol and a significant and serious increase in LDL (bad) cholesterol; make the arteries more rigid; cause major clogging of arteries; cause or contribute to type 2 diabetes; and cause or contribute to other serious health problems" http://www.bantransfats.com/abouttf.htm

- hope that puts your mind at rest, so to speak

Posted: 00:02 Fri 22-Oct-2004 by "Kristofer" # permalink comment
Comment: Do your own research on the subject, particualry on the mice who where fed a range of hydrogenated oils in various tests (a different oil and different set of mice each time)

In each test at least 50% of the mice developed various types of cancers.

To keep results to a high standard mice from litters where split up and monitored on a normal diet, to make sure that thier 'family' was not simply more suseptibal to developing cancers.

It doesnt really have anything to do with colesterol, although what you say is true. 72069 0

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