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Click pic to view comments - Confirmed sighting: Branston Soya Beans in a Sweet Chilli Sauce Confirmed sighting: Branston Soya Beans in a Sweet Chilli Sauce
Posted: 00:18 Fri 07-Nov-2008. Price: 56p. Location: ASDA, Fosse Park, Leicester. Sub-flavours: Soya Beans in Mediterranean Tomato, Chick Peas in Masala, Chick Peas in Mediterranean Tomato. Nutritional unusualness: "Contains Soya".
KFC are welcoming in the winter with Mexican Salsa Flavour Station Boneless Bites (2.69/5), and a Molten Chocolate Pud (1.49, or 99p with meal), but nothing seems to be warming "Nick T's" cockles, as he reports: Friends, let us gather now to pay homage to the sublime baked bean. Staple of every student meal, premium source of protein, and cornerstone of the entire gaseous-based comedy output of Saturday morning children's television, it might seem difficult to imagine how the mighty Branston could stuff it up.

But that's exactly what's happened with their new Soya Beans in a Sweet Chilli Sauce. Anybody who has endured a dinner party at a vegetarian's house will already know that soya-derived food has zero flavour, and things haven't improved much here either. "Why not stir into your favourite sauce or casserole...?" trumpets the can in a dizzy thrill of marketing desperation. You can feel the indifference mounting.

A valiant attempt to add interest by 'enrobing' (a descriptive verb borrowed from Branstons' Premier Foods stablemate Cadbury who, perhaps not coincidentally, also habitually use it to pimp their most insipid offerings) the beans in chilli sauce is a nice touch, but sadly it's the only one. In fact the (very) mildly spiced and pleasantly textured sauce is probably the best part of the whole package. But lurking disappointingly beneath the sauce are those bland, bullet-like beans which look like they've been squeezed out of a dangerously anaemic rabbit.

It's a nice try, Branston, but adding lipstick to a pig, or Dec to Ant, doesn't make either one more attractive. Soya beans are one of the world's cheapest pulses so maybe you could try slashing the price and targeting it at people on a tight budget but for now, Heinz Curried Beans remain supreme for a tasty toast-enhanced exotic snack, and this one should have stayed in the lab.

...

Add a comment | # Permalink to this page | 13 comment(s) so far: (NB: NO IDENTITIES ARE VERIFIED; ANYONE COULD ACTUALLY BE FROM THE MANUFACTURERS OR COMPETING COMPANIES. ALL CELEBRITY POSTINGS ARE IMPERSONATED ... POORLY)


Posted: 09:46 Fri 07-Nov-2008 by "Phillerena" # permalink comment
Comment: Yes but just think of the health benefits ;)
Posted: 11:25 Fri 07-Nov-2008 by "EzChile" # permalink comment
Comment: I had the Branston chick peas in 'mediteranean' sauce the other week. Very disappointing. The peas felt undercooked to the point of being almost crunchy, the sauce was massively over-sweetened and the sauce was thin and decidedly non mediteranean tasting. Instead it was similar to cooking them in a pan that hadn't been rinsed properly, so had a slight 'Fairy-ness' about it.

Never again, No matter how hungry or at what price. Branston, what on earth are you doing?


Posted: 21:32 Fri 07-Nov-2008 by Zeddy # permalink comment
Comment: Premier Foods? Is that irony?
Posted: 19:28 Sun 23-Nov-2008 by "Maud Boggins" # permalink comment
Comment: I recently bought a can of the soya beans in the Mediterranean tomato sauce expecting to be disappointed, having tasted their spaghetti (or rather NOT tasted it, becase there was nothing there to actually taste), and these were not unpleasant, just unexciting. I had to add loads of other things to liven up the bland sauce. The beans were OK, though - A nice, firm texture, not too hard, but not too squashy either, but again, like the spaghetti, let down by the flavourless juice they were canned in. I think I would buy these again just to add to a chilli as a change from kidney beans, but that's about it.
Posted: 18:54 Mon 15-Dec-2008 by "not so whiney" # permalink comment
Comment: soya beans don't compete with haricot (normal) beans. but chickpeas were a stroke of genius. we all like different things, if you like chick peas or soy beans you will like this, if you don't - forget about it. simple really.
Posted: 15:15 Thu 23-Apr-2009 by "protein man" # permalink comment
Comment: Comparing baked beans in an nutritional value, a tin of these soya beans is 35g of protein per tin, whereas heinz baked beans are 20g protein per tin. This is a major difference plus soya is so good for you. Granted though the beans are hard and take getting used to. I hope they bring soya beans in regular tomato sauce in the future.
Posted: 21:04 Tue 26-May-2009 by "vxfIfxGh" # permalink comment
Comment: My new partner - a free web hosting, be registered everything, I recommend!
Posted: 07:29 Wed 27-May-2009 by "Nick T" # permalink comment
Comment: Simply rearrange these words into a well-known phrase and you could win some spam.
Posted: 21:11 Fri 22-Jan-2010 by "pushkin" # permalink comment
Comment: just tried branston chickpeas in masala sauce,chick peas undercooked and they tasted of washing up liquid with and without the sauce a complete waste of money,unfortunately bought two cans,can i get a refund
Posted: 16:29 Wed 08-Sep-2010 by "ali" # permalink comment
Comment: does anyone know where you can buy the beans from??
Posted: 19:38 Wed 08-Sep-2010 by "Nick T" # permalink comment
Comment: I think you might have missed the boat, friend. I've not seen them for ages and they're not listed on mysupermarket either.
Posted: 19:42 Mon 03-Jan-2011 by "Linda" # permalink comment
Comment: We were converted to Branston beans some time ago. Asda and Morrisons frequently have special offers on packs of 4, ranging from £1 to £1.40, so we stock up when the offer is on and then wait again!
Posted: 19:40 Tue 04-Jan-2011 by Zeddy # permalink comment
Comment: I'm agnostic at best.
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